The "L" Word

When I was younger, I knew exactly what I wanted in a guy. I was proud that I could have such a clear vision at such a young age. After all, being cute and having a nice butt are great qualities for a guy to have, right?

Of course that all changed as I got older. I'm not so sure that it was for the better at some points, though. There was a list at one time... a very long list. I'm sure if I had that list in my hands right now I'd either be laughing hysterically or cringing at the thought. I don't remember everything that was on the list but I'm almost positive it still had "nice butt" and "cute" on there somewhere. Some things never change!

As with the qualities I was looking for in a guy, my definition of "love" evolved and changed as the years went by... its meaning changing with each relationship I went through. A friend and I recently talked about what this meant and for me, it's not an easy thing to describe.

I think it's more about feeling that the person has grabbed your soul... changed you in such a significant way that you can't help BUT care for them deeply. They will make you smile without even seeing you or talking to you or being anywhere near you. They will make you want to be a better person... to push yourself outside of your comfort zone - but still like the person you are, regardless. They will surprise you. They will inspire. You will trust them without question and find it easy to talk to them. They will be more in tune with you, than you are with yourself.

I also don't think it has to be a two-way street. Just because a person might not feel the same way about you doesn't invalidate the way you feel about them. I've always thought that I would spend the rest of my life with the person I felt that way about. But where in the rule book does it say that's the way it has to be?

Love is a gift and it's up to each of us whether or not we want to accept it... whether or not the person on the receiving end knows or acknowledges it and most of all - whether they return it.